Defector is a truly lovely website that defies easy description. I guess I would call it a sports website if only 20% of the articles are about sports. One of their regular columnist is just coming back from paternity leave and has a great insight on babies: you must have One Good Trick. Take it away Chris:
In order to capture maximum engagement from the baby, you must have at least one move, and your move had better be strong. Her grandmother’s move is “Patty cake,” and it is the Dirk Nowitzki one-legged fall-away of go-to baby moves. Unfortunately, once the baby has experienced grandma’s “Patty cake,” you cannot hope to utilize it in your own bag of tricks. You simply cannot execute the “rolllllllllllllll it” line with grandma’s irresistible suppressed giggle, nor can you hope to hit the supersonic pitch she reaches for the first syllable of “put it in the oven for baby and me!” Your “Patty cake” would be like the Dirk fadeaway executed by Aleksej Pokuševski. The baby would simply swat it back in your face.
You Must Have One Trick For The Baby | Defector
Similarly, do not hum the theme song from Bonanza while rapidly cycling the baby’s legs. Her uncle does a best-in-class version of this, and the baby practically screams with excitement at it, and your rendition, by comparison, will be shit.
So now I’m trying to remember what my bag of tricks was for Baby Chandra. Like all things parenting, these neurons get blown away pretty quickly (i.e. chronic sleeplessness). The classic was a thrilling rendition from Pride and Prejudice (the last live show I watched with Benalish Momma) of the pompous clergyman, Mr. Collins. The actor had a great, grandiloquent, “My lord AND patron… Lady Catherine de Bourgh!!” that I adapted for Chandra. The key was to launch her hands into a position of victory/triumph for the shouted “de BOURGH!!!”
That and I would balance diaper cream on her forehead and belly when changing her diaper. But I think that was mostly for my entertainment. Anyway, good column and very entertaining comment section with the parents chiming in with their signature moves.
Benalish Dad 
P&P is one of my favorite books. However I have never made it past the first few chapters because the absolutely magnificent main character (Mr. Bennett) disappears and we begin to follow the thread of his daughter while she makes some seriously “Gilmore Girls”-esque level bad life choices that I simply cannot abide continuing.
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ps: like srsly, the mr / mrs bennett banter is easily the best part of the book “and that was all the invitation she needed” … that is some rockstar level stuff right there.
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