Well, number two arrived and it so it’s time to review my excellent advice from Lil Chandra. What has held up, what has aged poorly, and what doesn’t seem quite the same with five additional years of brain calcification and more back pain.

kids are, in fact, different

We’ll start with the banal. Even though intellectually we knew that there would be differences, it still came as a big shock when Lil Narset just didn’t want to sleep. So tired! So angry! Yet not asleep! In fact, the only reliable way to get her asleep was to strap in a frontpack and start walking the neighborhood. My record was 8 miles in one day (including 2am, 5am, etc.) I might be the only dad in history to have lost weight with a newborn. Anyway, I suppose it’s good that we already started muttering at our youngest, “Well you sister never did this!” Gotta start those therapy bills early.

Get the night doula

There was an amusing discussion between me and the Benalish Momma about a night doula. She was a little reluctant, thought it would be intrusive, wouldn’t really help her, etc. I listened patiently and then responded, “Yes, because _I_ was your night doula last time! This is for me!” Selfish, but it carried the day! We did the usual referral chain and found a truly lovely woman who started helping us every other night through the early stages. Our only regret was not using her more. There’s a great line from “I’ll Show Myself Out” where the author was hemming and hawing about a night doula. Her obstetrician looked her in the eyes and bluntly informed her, “If you can afford it, you must.” Humans weren’t meant to give birth in our mid thirties. We’re meant to give birth when we’re 14, with our washed up grandparents (age 35) living under the same roof, etc. etc. It takes a village and don’t be afraid to create a village to help you.

Yes it still sucks

Amnesia is the key ingredient for siblings. No one disputes this. The first two months is *hard*. And with Lil Narset, it was hard in different ways. Jostling to sleep was harder. Boob feeding was easier! But then bottle rejection was harder. etc. etc. But just when you’re getting ready to harvest her kidneys…