Current reporting from the ceaseless psychological warfare that is the PPTQ front lines is official Benalish Daddy, Chris. FYI: the timestamp on this submission was a few minutes before 2am.

A Case of the Slumps

I recently attended a Dominaria sealed PPTQ in Lake Stevens with a few good friends of mine. It was the first PPTQ I’ve been to in quite a long while but I felt really good about my chances going in. I’d drafted more DOM than any other set ever, and I’d even done six sealed leagues on Magic Online. After taking inventory and looking over my pool, a shit-eating grin climbed its way up my cheeks. I built an Esper control deck with 4 bombs that win the game on their own and lots of removal and counter magic. My curve was great and my late game was stupid good. Three out of the four of us opened a Teferi, Hero of Dominaria (myself included) and my deck was bonkers!! Going into the first round I felt like there was NOOOO way I wouldn’t make top 8. Please enjoy this montage of my playing discipline and rigor:

After the second round I was staring down a 0-2 record and calling my best friend for moral support (shout out to Shroommama, love you dog). I had made many egregious mistakes, like, really really bad ones. In one game (of which the whole room was watching) I had been contemplating a play for a long time. I finally played a Cloudreader what I thought was going to be a Syncopate. I tapped the mana and winced in anticipation of Teferi’s cruel hand and the opponent just said “Sure.” I thought to myself “Oh, dope, he doesn’t have it.” What do I do next? Reach for the top two cards of my library and suck-in the sweet sweet nectar that is pseudo card advantage? Nope. I say “Pass.”

KJAHGKJAHDKJGHKJSDHKLJGKJDSGKJSDKJLHGLKJSDHGKJSDKJGLKJDSBKGJKSJDGKJ
SDKJGHSKJDHGKJSDGKJSGBKJSDBGKJSDBJGKBKk

SAVAGE PLAY THERE GABS!!!

Win or lose (lose), that was a huuuuuge error. I spiraled into tilt after that game and made even worse plays. In one game I forgot to attack both my 2/2 vigilance knight tokens into a tapped board because I was going to use them to block during the next turn… Another game I failed to remember what Sentinel of the Pearl Trident actually does and tried to cast it mid combat to blink my Zahid out from under a Deep Freeze as to ambush the opponents lethal Cloudreader Sphinx only to realize it came back at the end step… I couldn’t believe how badly I was playing and I was really upset with myself. Chagrined doesn’t even begin to cover it. I ended up going 3-2 on the merit of my deck alone and went home a very sad boy.

What happened?? I read content every day! I watch content every day! I’m a good player damnit, I SHOULD have won, I had Teferi and multiple bombs, I DESERVED to win! Right!??

Wrong.

Its time I faced what I’ve known in my heart for a while now. I’ve been phoning it in…. I’ve been reading content and not applying it. I’ve been watching content as if watching a mindless sitcom instead of pausing and thinking about why the player makes certain plays or what I would’ve done in that situation. I’ve been playing to the board on autopilot without looking into the future if not for mana efficiency, and a plethora of other heinous acts.

I need a change, my mind has been pulled across the grind stone for too long and screams out for growth. I’ve delved deep into the tank and drudged up a list of my magical shortcomings (Hey Bill, why does it feel like I’ve been here before??) of which (in true Sam Stoddard fashion) I will share with you so that I may get over feeling embarrassed about them and move on to doing something about it.

• I play only to the board and maybe one turn ahead instead of further down the line.
• I’m a lazy shuffler which is a hinderance after long games where many lands are on the battlefield.
• I don’t consciously update pick orders or reevaluate how I draft archetypes.
• I tilt easily and am mad when I don’t win.
• I pay less attention when I’m losing badly
• I hardly ever think about how game one played out and how I need to play to beat their strategy.
• I don’t ever look back at games where I’ve won and see what I could’ve done better.
• I hardly ever look back at games where I’ve lost and identify on which turn I actually lost or the turns that led me there.
• I hold on to my first few picks too tightly.
• I usually take the first line I think of instead of trying to see all available lines.
• I often misread the battlefield and make poor attacks.
• I make telegraphed plays and underestimate my opponent.
• I don’t participate while consuming content.
• I scoop too much when I’m behind and have outs.
• I don’t have very good sportsmanship when losing. If I got any saltier horses would pilgrimage from various lands to come lick me.
• I don’t prepare for Constructed tournaments well enough in advance.
• I don’t carve out time for studying.
• I have rarity bias.
• I play poorly from ahead and don’t think about what lines win them the game.
• I play poorly when the board is super complicated and miss opportunities to strike.
• I unnecessarily tap my mana in ways that tell my opponent that I don’t have certain cards in my hand that are in my deck.
• I play too fast and don’t think my whole turn out before deploying.
• I have a sense of entitlement where I feel like I “should” win a match against someone who I feel is worse than me.
• I am too incredulous when presented with decks strategies and plays that are outside the box.

So there you have it. My stained boxers and rancid knee-highs waving in the wind for all to see… and smell… I almost assuredly missed something, but this list is a great start and although until the list is published in Jed’s blog (and the four of you have finished reading it) I won’t feel totally exonerated, but I feel a huge weight off my chest already. The chip on my shoulder is no longer cast in resin. Its alive, pink and oozing and its ready to start healing properly. I know correcting this list won’t be an easy task, but I also know that I’m a fucking force when I apply myself! Here’s to; expelling haunts, being honest with myself, and applying some elbow grease. Thanks for reading and leave some of your shortcomings or maybe some of mine you think I missed in the comments. ❤

About the Author: As a certified Benalish Daddy, Chris is well-versed in multiple formats of Magic as well as the fundamentals of Baby Raptor handling. Additionally, he is a skilled artist, musician, cook and general gentleman-at-large.